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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Your pronouns are โ€œside/chickโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just donโ€™t have it anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,810

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via LinkedIn:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Trending via Telegram:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Breaking via Twitch:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Shared recently on Twitch:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Trending via TikTok:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?
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Commentary:
Ah, the 20s: where commitment issues meet blind optimism in the strangest of romances! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’”

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,577

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Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Breaking via YouTube:

Never trust a wet fart.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Itโ€™s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

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