Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Going viral on Instagram:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Spotted on Twitch:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Making waves on Slack:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Broadcasted on X:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Making waves on Facebook:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Making waves on Messenger:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Watching that hairline retreat like it's on a permanent vacation! 😂✈️🏖️

blocking, breakup, enough, hairline, humor, i, media, need, observation, recede, revenge, social, social media, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

0

2 months ago

attitude, emotion, frustration, girl, hate, i, mean, personality, push, pushed, sweet, sweet girl, why
Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

0

2 months ago

career, career joke, comparison, employment, experience, help, humor, humorous, humorous comparison, hut, job, job humor, joke, know, pizza, pizza hut, retail, retail job, sunglass, sunglass hut, think, work, work experience, working, workplace, workplace humor
That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

0

2 months ago

corner, frustration, humor, losing, me, microsoft, Microsoft Word, revision, technology, word, writing
People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

0

5 months ago

again, age, boredom, day, doing, home, humor, just, much, over, people, repetition, routine, same, self-reflection
Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

0

2 months ago

comedy, connection, friendship, getting, humor, hurt, hurts, joke, laughter, misunderstanding, nothing, someone
Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

0

2 months ago

birthday, celebration, fun, i, Jesus, money, need, organize

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are you a software update, because not now!

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

77 shares on Slack this month:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

80 shares on Discord this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

43 shares on WeChat this month:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Making waves on Discord:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Trending via Telegram:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Breaking via Slack:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Spotted on Twitch:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Just landed via Threads:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨