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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Shared recently on Slack:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Just shared via Messenger:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Going viral on YouTube:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Trending via Messenger:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Going viral on Facebook:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?
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Commentary:
Remembering those days when teachers doubled as restroom gatekeepers 🤔🚪 Who knew bladder control was part of the curriculum? 😂🚽📚

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Trending via YouTube:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Going viral on Instagram:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Live now on Messenger:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Just landed via Messenger:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Just landed via WeChat:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

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