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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,920

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Just shared via Twitch:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Just landed via Facebook:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Just landed via Discord:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Just shared via Discord:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Broadcasted on Threads:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

15 hours ago

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Commentary:
Trying to keep my cool when my hormones are playing dodgeball with my sanity 🏃‍♀️😅🥇

challenge, control, emotion, emotion control, emotions, extreme, extreme sport, humor, menstruation, mood, mood swings, period, sport, swings, while

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Spotted on Instagram:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Live now on Slack:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Live now on TikTok:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Just landed via Telegram:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Shared recently on Slack:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Just shared via YouTube:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

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Activity Log ✨

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

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Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

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