Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Trending via Threads:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Seen just now on Discord:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Live now on Telegram:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Going viral on X:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Just landed via Facebook:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about police eagerly avoiding family to patrol on Christmas morning.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking "Silent Night" to new levels since 1829 😂🎄👮‍♂️📡

boredom, Christmas, Christmas morning, cop, cops, enforcement, excited, family, gun, hell, highway, holiday, hours, humor, ignore, law, law enforcement, morning, radar, radar gun, sit, traffic, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

1 month ago

blacksmith, cold, cold water, cooking, feel, frying, frying pan, hot, hot pan, humor, kitchen, me, metaphor, pan, putting, running, sink, water
The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

1 month ago

backstory, horror, live, mood, October, seaside, seaside town, seasonal, seasonal mood, sleepy, sleepy town, small, small town, spooky, spooky vibe, town, urge, vibe
It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

1 month ago

annoy, calm, humor, irony, people, unhappy
Work for a living? In this economy?

1 month ago

economy, humor, job, living, sarcasm, struggle, work
You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

1 month ago

control, culture, driving, experience, humor, keep, Midwest, nothing, skills, snow, spin, winter
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

4 weeks ago

body, body image, dieting, feels, fitness, good, health, humor, image, loss, motivation, nothing, self-esteem, skinny, weight, weight loss

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

52 shares on Threads this month:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Trending via Facebook:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Trending via Discord:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Going viral on X:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Going viral on Discord:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Work for a living? In this economy?

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨