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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Live now on Pinterest:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Seen just now on Twitch:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Just landed via Facebook:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Just landed via Threads:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a way to explain those mystery work emails to your significant other! 😂👔 #OfficeFamily"

boss, employee, employees, hierarchy, humor, joke, last, last name, management, name, office, office joke, should, take, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

0

2 months ago

beverage, branding, cute, exactly, girls, humor, inventor, inventors, lemonade, pink, pink lemonade, playful, same, yes
My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

0

5 months ago

answer, arguing, argument, asking, conservative, favorite, genre, give, grok, guy, humor, likes, question, true, tweet
Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

0

4 months ago

casual, casual research, humor, me, research, revelation, source, walk
I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

0

5 months ago

awkward, awkward silence, care, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, introvert, silence, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

0

2 months ago

anyone, ChatGPT, else, heart, heart surgery, humor, issue, medical, medical humor, middle, online, online outage, outage, surgeon, surgery, technical, technical issue, technology, technology humor
If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

0

2 months ago

body, body cast, cast, full, going, humor, i, looks, motherhood, parenting, relaxation, relaxing, sarcasm, show, someone, TV, TV Show, watching, wondering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

16 shares on Discord this month:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

36 shares on X this month:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Making waves on Telegram:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Just landed via Twitch:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Shared recently on Discord:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨