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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Just landed via Twitch:

Having a job ruined my life.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Spotted on Telegram:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Live now on Instagram:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Making waves on Reddit:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

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Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.
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Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, double-check the instructions before you start a lemonade stand! 🍋🤔🙃

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

54 shares on Discord this month:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

43 shares on Discord this month:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Trending via Messenger:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Just landed via WeChat:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Going bananas on X:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Breaking via YouTube:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Freshly posted on X:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Trending via Telegram:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

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