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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Trending via Discord:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who needs brain health when you have memes and snacks, am I right? 🤷‍♂️🍿 #SociallyDistantButWellFed"

advice, brain, brain health, experts, health, health advice, human, human interaction, humor, important, interaction, risk, say, socializing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

0

5 months ago

class, deep, folding, humor, message, note, notes, origami, pass, school, secret, secret message, Shakespeare, spy, used
I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

0

2 months ago

accident, broke, childbirth, humor, hurt, i, pain, phone, today
Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

0

2 months ago

again, buy, clothing, fashion, favorite, humor, i, industry, irony, item, me, repetition, same, shopping
The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

0

3 months ago

annoyance, buzzing, enough, fly, irritation, mood, ruin, sound, whole
I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

0

2 months ago

around, attitude, badass, casual, casual attitude, chewing, confidence, enough, humor, never, self-image, toothpick, toughness, walk
I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

0

5 months ago

addiction, humor, i, pattern, recognition

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on X this month:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

42 shares on Discord this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

89 shares on X this month:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Just landed via Twitch:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Trending via Instagram:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨