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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Shared recently on Instagram:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Going viral on Facebook:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Trending via Snapchat:

In banana years, I am bread.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your soulmate is a cheeseburger and you're okay with that 🍔😍💘

attraction, cheeseburger, craving, crush, food, humor, humor quote, i, looks, love, romance, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

0

2 months ago

adult, choice, choices, humor, irony, kind, life, life choice, positive, responsibility, self-awareness
I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

0

2 months ago

activity, aspiration, books, career, dream, dream job, figures, fun, fun activity, got, i, job, leisure, paid, park, reading, relaxation, six, six figures, wish
Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

0

2 months ago

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch
I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

0

2 months ago

diet, eat, food, humor, loss, miracle, new, pray, weight, weight loss
Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

0

2 months ago

adolescence, again, communication, day, English, expectation, forward, humor, language, looking, parenting, speaking, teenager
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

0

1 month ago

cold, humor, know, observation, outside, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

45 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

87 shares on X this month:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Live now on LinkedIn:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Just landed via Slack:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Just shared via Snapchat:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Making waves on YouTube:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨