Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Freshly posted on X:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Going viral on Slack:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Seen just now on X:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Live now on Twitch:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your soulmate is a cheeseburger and you're okay with that 🍔😍💘

attraction, cheeseburger, craving, crush, food, humor, humor quote, i, looks, love, romance, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

0

2 months ago

aroma, beans, breath, coffee, contradiction, good, humor, smell, taste
Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

0

2 months ago

12, addiction, chocolate, day, eye, hearing, humor, lost, struggle
It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

0

2 months ago

another, back, coming, frustration, humor, keeps, mad, return, storm, thing, weather, winter, yelling
The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, care, humor, indulgence, money, phrase, ruined, self, self-care, spending, treat, treat yourself, waistline, yourself
If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

0

2 months ago

academic, academic expectation, accessory, expectation, eyewear, eyewear accessory, glasses, glasses rope, humor, lot, rope, stereotype, student, wear
So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

0

2 months ago

annoying, awkward, baking, bathroom, cake, doing, door, family, funny situation, humor, joking, privacy, situation, toilet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on TikTok this month:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

69 shares on Facebook this month:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

61 shares on Discord this month:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

17 shares on Discord this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Spotted on YouTube:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Going viral on X:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Going viral on WeChat:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Trending via Twitch:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Just landed via YouTube:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨