Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.