Commentary:
"Swipe left for my dignity, swipe right for my sanity! 😂📱💔"
685 Funny activity quotes
Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.
Commentary:
"Finally mastering the art of reverse psychology—cat edition! 😹🐾🍣"
I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.
Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"
I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.
Commentary:
"Apparently grass has no WiFi, but it sure did refresh my glitchy system 🤷♂️🚀 #StillAwkward"
My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.
Commentary:
"Why sleep under the stars when you can binge-watch under a blanket? 🌟🍿 #TeamIndoorCamping"
Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.
Commentary:
"Who knew speed dating had a sequel? 😂👩❤️👨🏃♂️🏃♀️ #TherapistsNightmare #StrangersInTherapy"
Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.
Commentary:
"Because maybe my off-key mime is the next viral dance move! 🎧🎤🕺😂"
I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.
Commentary:
🐒🦘 "Probably found out the hard way that kangaroos give you a bouncier ride than you'd like. 😂🤕"
I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.
Commentary:
"Sending positive vibes and bed sheets for everyone's well-being! 😜🛌 #MentalHealthMatters"
Pomegranates are worth the mess.
Commentary:
"Agreed! Nothing says 'I fought a fruit and the fruit won' quite like a pomegranate! 🍴😂🍇"