Commentary:
Sounds like a solid negotiation tactic with the metabolism gods! 🍕🤝😂
74 Funny appearance quotes
Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.
Commentary:
Looks like I’ve finally found my calling in life as the ultimate medium ugly enthusiast; now I just need to work on my wardrobe! 😂👖😎
Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.
Commentary:
When my dog sees me in jeans instead of pajamas, he assumes I'm going to the Met Gala 🐶👖😆
If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.
Commentary:
When Mercury's in retrograde, my charm must be in overdrive! ✨🔮😉
I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.
Commentary:
I'm off to spread some joy with my face, the neighbourhood deserves it! 🌟😎🚶♂️
The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.
Commentary:
Mirror, mirror on the wall, why is my life a sitcom after all? 😂🤷♀️✨
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.
Commentary:
Magic like that must come with a toilet wand and a splash of confidence 💩✨📸
I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.
Commentary:
Glow up goals achieved: from a caterpillar comedian to a hot butterfly! 🐛➡️🦋😂
Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.
Commentary:
Why showcase the "au naturel" version when filtered fabulousness is just a swipe away? 🍦😜 #IceCreamGetsYouIn
Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.
Commentary:
Skipping broccoli for the abs project, because who needs kale when you’ve got mirror motivation? 🍫🏋️♂️🙈