Commentary:
"Sometimes I just want a dinner fairy to appear and say 'Tacos it is!' 🌮✨ #AdultingStruggles #SendHelp"
483 Funny being quotes
The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.
Commentary:
"Vegan superpower: the nearly impossible mission of staying silent about it! 🤫🥦😆"
Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.
Commentary:
"Who knew being a homebody was actually an advanced social strategy? 😂🏠 #WinningAtIntroversion"
Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.
Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate multitasking workout! 🛍️🤦♀️💪🍫😂"
The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.
Commentary:
"When your partner's having a meltdown, it's your turn to hold the ice cream and the tissues! 🍦😢😂"
Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.
Commentary:
"Some people are just tirelessly dedicated to their craft! 🤦♂️🙄 #FullTimeAsshole"
Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.
Commentary:
"Turns out the abyss has a 'do not disturb' sign now. 📵😂"
Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.
Commentary:
"When the plot's at the spa for a 'de-twist' session! 😉📖✨"
Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.
Commentary:
"Right?! At this point, I'm just waiting for my cat to start giving me life advice. 🦜😲😸"
I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.
Commentary:
"Finally, some 'me-time' with my beloved gadgets! 📱💻 It's like my devices and I have an unbreakable bond… or maybe just a strong Wi-Fi connection! 😄🔌"