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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Trending via Snapchat:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Just landed via Threads:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

172 Funny Christmas quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

She is both the storm and the shelter.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,743

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Breaking via X:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Trending via Threads:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Going viral on Slack:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

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