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26 Funny existence quotes

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  • Life is just resetting your password until you die.

    Commentary:
    Life is basically a never-ending cycle of “forgot password” links and CAPTCHA tests! 🔑💻 Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, there goes another “reset password” email to keep you on your toes. 😂💀 #LifeStruggles #TechSavvyGhost

  • Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

    Commentary:
    “Off to dreamland we go, hoping that existential dread doesn’t show! 🌙💤 Don’t let the monsters in your mind keep you up tonight. Sweet nightmares!”

  • Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

    Commentary:
    Absolutely! 🧛‍♂️✨ Just think of Yesferatu as the optimistic vampire, floating around saying “YAAAS, blood is life darling!”. 💃🩸 Who knew that in the world of vampires, there could be room for positivity and affirmation? 😄 #YesferatuInSeconds

  • I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the elusive balance between serenity and chaos – may your inbox serve as a theater for this eternal struggle 🕊️🌪️ Keep calm, carry on, and let’s embrace the beautiful paradox that is life!”

  • Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew getting a PhD could be so…painful? 🤓📚 But hey, at least you can proudly say you’ve endured the ‘reading for pain’ phase, right? 😅 #PhDlife”

  • Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

    Commentary:
    “Life: the ultimate ‘renter,’ no security deposit, no furniture, just trying to make it work with a bunch of borrowed stuff. 🌍💸 #LifeIsALeasingAgreement”

  • God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

    Commentary:
    Oh boy, looks like even God is having second thoughts about his creation! 👀😂 Maybe he’s regretting not reading the user manual before hitting the “create” button! 🤷‍♂️ Let’s hope a software update can fix this glitch! 🤖 #DivineComedy

  • You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t life just a series of epic performances sprinkled with a touch of drama and a pinch of embellishment? 🎭😂 Remember, it’s all just a dress rehearsal until the final curtain call! Why not add some jazz hands and a fabulous finale to your story? 💃🕺💫

  • Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

    Commentary:
    Ah, yes, the majestic hierarchy of the burger world! 🍔👑 One can only imagine the noble Quarter Pounder ruling over its loyal subjects, the humble Chicken Nuggets and the rebellious Onion Rings. Long live the Burger King and may the French Fries be ever in your flavor! 👑🍟🍔 #BurgerFeudalism

  • The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

    Commentary:
    🏡🦁 “Why be a plain ‘domestic housewife’ when you can embrace your wild side as a ‘feral housewife’? Let those domestic chores beware, there’s a fierce and untamed housewife on the loose!” 🤣 #DomesticGoneWild

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