Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Shared recently on X:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Just landed via Reddit:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Just landed via Slack:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

56 Funny fat quotes

More funny fat quotes 👇

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

1 week ago

fat, food, making, me, stop
Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

1 week ago

everything, fat, humor, joke, leave, me, weight
Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

1 week ago

body, body positivity, diet, fat, humor, okay, positivity, self-acceptance, update, wanted
She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

1 week ago

appointment, appointments, arm, doctor, fat, hate, humor, i, me, money, stab
Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

2 weeks ago

ahead, bears, evolution, fat, humans, months, say, scientists, sleep, summer
Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

2 weeks ago

children, Christmas, family, fat, festive, festive fun, food, fun, getting, getting fat, gift, gift giving, giving, holiday, holiday humor, humor, i, love, lying, things, traditions
Avocado is just green butter.

2 weeks ago

avocado, butter, comparison, culinary, culinary joke, fat, food, food comparison, food humor, green, healthy, healthy fat, humor, joke, just
Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

2 weeks ago

am, being, fat, forward-thinking, humor, i, person, summer, weight, winter, winter fat
I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

2 weeks ago

Christmas, every, fat, gift, holiday, humor, i, joke, same, thing, tradition, year
I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

2 weeks ago

chances, fat, humor, i, irony, Jim, preferences, slim

For even more funny fat quotes, hit next 👇

All funny fat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Making waves on Discord:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Spotted on Reddit:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Making waves on Reddit:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Activity Log ✨

56 Funny fat quotes

More funny fat quotes 👇

All funny fat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨