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87 Funny fear quotes

Trending Funny Fear Quotes 🔥

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.
Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.
I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.
Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.
Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

More funny fear quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Commentary:
"Seems like I have the superpower of invoking love confessions! 💖💨 Beware, my charming presence can be quite intimidating. 😏 #LoveConfessionMagnet"
3 months ago
Share →: If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Commentary:
"Who needs a cuddle buddy when you have creepy creatures lurking in the shadows? Let the monster under the bed keep you company tonight! 🌌👻 #LonelyButSpooky"
3 months ago
Share →: My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the real horror of being a zombie is not the brain-eating or the decay, but just the sheer amount of cardio involved? No wonder they're always moaning – those poor undead souls just need a rest day!"
3 months ago
Share →: I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Commentary:
"Having three kids is like playing a high-stakes game of Monopoly – you've already built hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place, so rolling the dice again might just bankrupt you!"
3 months ago
Share →: I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Commentary:
"Who needs love when you have a wallet full of cash? Just remember, money talks – but love can't buy you groceries!"
3 months ago
Share →: I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Commentary:
Oh, don't be afraid to ask the tough questions – especially when it comes to the color spectrum of "gray" and "grey"! 🤔 Who knew language could be so colorful (or should I say, "colourful")? 🌈 Embrace the mystery and show those vowels who's boss! 💪 #SpellingShenanigans
4 months ago
Share →: It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Commentary:
"Watching the washing machine go full turbo spin mode is like witnessing a secret dance party of socks and undies in there! 💃🧦 Hold on tight, folks, the laundry disco is about to get wild! 🌀👖 #SpinCycleAdventures"
4 months ago
Share →: Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Commentary:
Well, that's a relief! Looks like I won't have to worry about the zombies mistaking me for a buffet anytime soon. I guess all those years of studying and working on my brainpower are finally paying off – literally a life-saving investment!
4 months ago
Share →: A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about heights when you've got to navigate through doorways and squeeze into tight spaces? Forget skydiving, I've got to tackle the true challenge of fitting through a narrow hallway!"
4 months ago
Share →: No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Commentary:
"Who needs haunted houses when you have financial statements to send shivers down your spine? Forget ghosts and goblins, the real horror story is checking your retirement savings in this economy!"