Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Trending via WeChat:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Just shared via Twitch:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Shared recently on X:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spotted on YouTube:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

34 Funny fix quotes

Funny fix quotes are the perfect blend of humor and wisdom to brighten your day 🔧😂 Whether you’re tackling a tricky problem or just need a chuckle while fixing life’s little glitches, these witty lines will keep you smiling 😄✨ Ready to laugh through the mess and turn every oops into a LOL? Let’s dive into some clever, playful vibes that make fixing things way more fun! 🤪💡

New funny fix quotes 👇

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

3 hours ago

collective, commentary, fix, humor, orgasm, sex, social, social commentary, unity, world
Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

11 hours ago

beer, care, dating, fix, frustration, going, humor, i, mood, mood swing, relationship, same, swing
Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

19 hours ago

another, decision, finance, financial, financial decision, fix, humor, irresponsibility, irresponsible, joke, making, maybe, me, money, personal, personal finance, self-deprecation
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

3 weeks ago

action, daily, daily life, day, every, fix, humor, internet, life, media, observation, social, social media, stupid, watch
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

4 weeks ago

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone
Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

2 months ago

diary, everything, fix, frustration, humor, i, lock, lock in, responsibility, task, tomorrow
They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

2 months ago

broccoli, cake, comparison, dessert, effort, fix, food, humor, least, problem, problems, say, sugar, well
Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

2 months ago

90s, activity, arcade, fix, fun, fun activity, gaming, kombat, me, mortal, Mortal Kombat, nostalgia, playing
Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

2 months ago

deactivation, detox, digital, digital detox, fix, humor, Instagram, life, media, nothing, social, social media
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

2 months ago

action, day, every, Facebook, fix, humor, media, social, social media, stupid, watch

For even more funny fix quotes, hit next 👇

All funny fix quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

14 shares on Slack this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Just landed via Facebook:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Seen just now on WeChat:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Just shared via Slack:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Spotted on YouTube:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

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