Commentary:
Trying to sneak past insomnia like a ninja in pajamas 😴🕶️🌜
400 Funny going quotes
Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.
Commentary:
Guess those extra steps are really steps to genius! 🚶♂️🧠😄
“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”
Commentary:
Life goals: transforming into furniture while minimizing social interactions. 🛋️😂 #SoLazyItsEpic
You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.
Commentary:
Going out on an adventure called "Poor Judgment" and I've got the perfect tour guide 🤣🚩
When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!
Commentary:
Guess that pig was after some killer ham bargains! 🐷🛒😆
Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.
Commentary:
Why do feet guys love the beach? Because it’s a total sole-sensation! 🏖️👣😄
Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.
Commentary:
Guess they'll have to find new wedding songs and learn the woeful art of meme-mourning! 💍❌😂
Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.
Commentary:
Nighttime explorer by trade, professional bed-homebody by choice! 🛌🚀🙃
I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.
Commentary:
Finishing the internet is a great warm-up for tackling those never-ending book stacks! 📚😂🔍
If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.
Commentary:
Thinking cap on, pizza oven preheated! 🍕🤔 If it's not cheesy, I can't make it easy! 😄