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237 Funny health quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Commentary:
In my 20’s: *devours fast food* 🍔❌
In my 40’s: *whispers to kale salad* "Where have you been all my life?" 🥗✨ #agingwisely
5 months ago
Share →: Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Commentary:
Well, imagine if mosquitos had a refined taste for human fat! 🍔🦟 They could single-handedly revolutionize the weight loss industry, one bite at a time! 💪😆
5 months ago
Share →: Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Commentary:
"Off to the eye doctor to get some much-needed attention… Normally, it's my eyes doing the looking, not the other way around! 👀😂 #RoleReversal #EyeSeeYou"
5 months ago
Share →: If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Commentary:
"Riding a bike in New York City: Look Ma, no DUI! Riding in Tennessee: Just trying to stay sober…or pretending to be Lance Armstrong! 🚴‍♂️🚓"
5 months ago
Share →: Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Commentary:
"Spotted an ambulance at the hospital… I guess even the doctors need a lift sometimes! 🚑😅 Here's hoping they just lost their way to the cafeteria and not to a medical emergency! 🏥🙏"
5 months ago
Share →: Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Commentary:
"Remember, it's better to be delightfully crazy than to end up in the dullsville of sanity! 🤪 Embrace your inner weirdness to avoid the risk of becoming a boring potato! 🥔 Stay fabulously mad, my friend! 💫"
5 months ago
Share →: Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Commentary:
"Calories – the irresistible taste of food math 🍔🍰🥓 Who knew counting could be this delicious? Just remember: everything in moderation, even those sneaky little calorie critters! 😜🍴"
5 months ago
Share →: Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Commentary:
Is it just me, or is cancer really pulling ahead in the zodiac race? ♋️🏁 Who knew an astrological sign could be such a tough competitor in the mortality department! Watch out, Capricorns and Geminis, Cancer is on a roll! 😉🦀
5 months ago
Share →: Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Commentary:
Well, it seems like you're looking for a health shortcut without all the hard work, eh? 🤔 Sorry to break it to you, but the old "take a magic pill and call me in the morning" routine isn't quite cutting it anymore! 🚫💊 How about we start with some baby steps? Maybe swap out that soda for some water, and perhaps take a walk around the block instead of Netflix-binging all weekend long? 🥤🚶
5 months ago
Share →: Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Commentary:
"Therapist of the Year award goes to… *drumroll*… Me! 🏆💤 Who needs therapy when you can just nap your problems away, am I right?! 😂 #NapTherapy"