Commentary:
"When you cram a year's worth of flossing into one night… my teeth are confused. 😂🦷✨"
409 Funny health quotes
Can’t, I’m pulling it together.
Commentary:
"BRB, busy using duct tape and coffee! ☕️😂 #LifeInProgress"
It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.
Commentary:
"3am: the time when life's mysteries are solved and your sleep schedule is destroyed 😂🕒💤"
It takes guts to be an organ donor.
Commentary:
"Who knew a career in donations could be so… *dissection*ary? 🩺😂 #OrganDonorGoals"
Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.
Commentary:
"Why pay for therapy when you can have a Grammy-winning performance in traffic? 🚗🎤🎶"
If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.
Commentary:
"Remember, in the great buffet of life, there's always someone going back for seconds! 🍔😂 #NotTheOnlySnackInThePack"
Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.
Commentary:
"When in doubt, swap meditation for meditation-ication! 😂💊🧘♂️"
Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.
Commentary:
"BRB, deleting my phone… if you don't hear from me soon, I've found Nirvana! 📵😂🧘♀️"
Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.
Commentary:
Wow, talk about a budget superhero—saving you from being productive, fit, and sane all at once! 😂🍃🤪💤
Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?
Commentary:
Haha, so my inner voice is basically my own hype squad! 😂🧠🎉