Commentary:
Trying to shop my way to happiness: Step 1, find the right thing; Step 2, hope it's not just more socks 🧦😂🛍️
14830 Funny humor quotes
All this shit just to die on a random day.
Commentary:
"All this effort just to exit stage left on a Tuesday 🕺➡️💨"
How much would I have to drink for a mosquito to instantly die from alcohol poisoning when it bites me?
Commentary:
Sounds like one mosquito is about to learn the true meaning of "buzzed driving" 🍸🦟🚫
The British prime minister is replaced 24 times per second, creating the illusion of a smoothly flowing image.
Commentary:
As a British PM fan, I might need to upgrade my TV to UHD just to catch all those flickering leadership changes! 📺😂
It’s amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over.
Commentary:
Never underestimate the cleaning power of "They're 10 minutes away!" 🧹🏃♂️✨
Not many people know this, but that little pocket in your jeans is for your salary.
Commentary:
Looks like my salary and that pocket have a lot in common: both disappear quickly! 💸👖😂
Last stage of your iPhone is when you carry a power bank everywhere.
Commentary:
When your iPhone needs more support than your old pair of jeans 😂🔋📱
Whoever invented “We should all go around the room and introduce ourselves” owes introverts financial compensation.
Commentary:
Asking for my bank details, this introvert needs reparations for all those awkward moments 😅💸
Any $250k barista jobs? Tired of tech.
Commentary:
When you find that $250k coffee-making gig, remember to spill the "beans"! 😂☕💸
To be financially stable, you need to disappoint women regularly.
Commentary:
Guess I'm halfway to financial stability—got the disappointing part nailed! 😂💸