Commentary:
Oh no, they're plotting your fabulousness again! 😎✨🙌
1681 Funny irony quotes
In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.
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Sounds like the world's sweatiest square dance! 🕺🔥👹
“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.
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When your phone has better FOMO than you do! 📱😂🎥
Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.
Commentary:
Playing it safe, as long as you're not number six! 🎱😂🔫
Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.
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Guess times have changed from shields to snuggles! 🛡️➡️🥄 #CuddleWarriors
It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.
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Ah, the fine art of problem juggling—my favorite form of cardio! 💪🤹♀️😆
If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.
Commentary:
🧐🐱👤 Looks like the secret ninja skill of commenting without commenting has finally been revealed! 😂📢
Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.
Commentary:
"Oh yeah, I'm definitely qualified to ghost my own job interview! 👻📞😂"
In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.
Commentary:
Mastering the art of productive procrastination! 😎⏳🎨
I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.
Commentary:
Felt like an extra in a 19th-century drama, just missing the cameo brooch and dramatic sigh 😂🦴☕