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Years later and still serving up cold dishes 🍽️😎 Revenge isn't a fast food! 🍔⏳
1648 Funny just quotes
The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).
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When the clock strikes midnight, my inner Cinderella trades the glass slipper for a credit card 💳🕛💸
No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.
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Ending the search for Mr. Right because he's already parked in the friend zone! 😂🔍❤️
Just once, I’d like to experience the confidence of a goose walking directly into traffic.
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Talk about thinking you're untouchable—those geese must have been former traffic wardens in a past life!
Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.
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Sounds like Twitter's the ultimate triple threat—swipe left if you're funny, swipe right if you're just here for the memes 😂📱💔
Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.
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This is me pretending I'm the star of a music video, making every detour worth it! 🎶🚗🎤✨
Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.
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Social skills loading… please wait… ⌛🤔😂
I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.
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Dating: the only time stomach butterflies are both romantic and a symptom of illness 🤦♀️🦋
I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.
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Ah, the good old days of raw chaos and unintentional jump scares in every video! 🎥😂📼
I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.
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Suffering is out, selective relaxation is in! 😎🛋️✨