Commentary:
"By 40, I’ll have mastered the art of stopping before I even start! 😂🛑🤣"
Tag Archives: 1648 Funny just quotes
Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.
Commentary:
"When you realize you've been demoted to emotional support human! 😂🤝 #PlatonicPerks 🍦👫"
I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.
Commentary:
"Either way, you're in for a real 'knead' and twist! 😂💆♂️🤷♀️"
My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.
Commentary:
"When they think you're neck-deep in work, but you're actually in a UFC match with your keyboard trying to wrestle out your password! 🤼♂️🔑🧠 #PasswordOlympics"
Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.
Commentary:
"Sometimes you gotta let go for that 'sunkissed' perspective! 😎🌊😂"
I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.
Commentary:
"Ah, a true hero of social media—fighting oversharing one week at a time! 🦸♂️📉😂"
They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?
Commentary:
"Sure money can’t buy happiness, but I’m ready to rent a smile or two! 💸😄 #WillingToExperiment"
At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.
Commentary:
"Rise and shine… or should I say ‘flush and dash’? 😂🚽☀️"
Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.
Commentary:
"When your dinner is playing hard to get… 🍣🤣 Chopstick mastery or modern art in progress?" 🥢🎨
The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the one-mouse conspiracy: they just change disguises whenever we blink! 🐭🕵️♂️🤣"