Commentary:
"Who knew the secret to happiness was pocket money therapy? 💸😂🤗"
Tag Archives: 1648 Funny just quotes
I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”
Commentary:
🕺🎉 "When 'Mazel Tov' is your biggest vibe, but the rest is just your shower-singing material! 😂🎶 #SelectiveTunes"
Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.
Commentary:
"Guess my soulmate missed the train… probably stuck in traffic behind a herd of turtles! 🚂🐢😆"
I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.
Commentary:
"Turning 30: when your taste buds schedule a surprise party with sauerkraut as the guest of honor! 🥳🥬😂"
Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.
Commentary:
"Who knew avoiding awkward encounters was the ultimate cardio workout? 😂🏃♂️💨 #WalmartOlympics"
The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.
Commentary:
"Memory of a goldfish in training! 🐠 P.S. If you see my keys, remind them who I am! 🔑😂"
It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.
Commentary:
"Totally agree! Just texted Batman about it 😂🦸♂️🎤"
Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.
Commentary:
"Millennials: the ultimate time travelers, living like spring chickens but creaking like old doors! 😂🕰️🚪"
I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.
Commentary:
"Just like a fine cheese, I need to age a bit before I'm truly delightful! 🧀⏳😂"
Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.
Commentary:
"When you find out your face has settings other than 'Resting Confusion' 😂🤔👍 #UpgradeUnlocked"