Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,809

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Spotted on Discord:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Just shared via Slack:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Live now on X:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Going bananas on Discord:

I disagree with my politics.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Home » Funny Leave Quotes » Page 11

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

0

2 months ago

happiness, happy, humor, irony, leave, me, people, relationships, social
I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

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2 months ago

always, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, outside, reluctance, shouldn’t, social
Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

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2 months ago

alone, attention, communication, give, humor, just, leave, relationship, simplicity, women
Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

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2 months ago

absurdity, amoeba, evolution, humor, i, leave, life, little, Monday, ocean, responsibility, stupid, worry
If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

0

2 months ago

billionaire, Earth, else, escape, everyone, humor, i, leave, Mars, rockets, satire, space, space travel, travel, wealth
I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

0

2 months ago

breakup, displeasure, frustration, humor, i, last, leave, love, me, media, people, sight, social, social media, time, unfollowing
My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, chaos, follow, kids, leave, me, parenting, scared, trouble
Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

0

2 months ago

alone, animal, animal antics, antics, behavior, care, dog, entertainment, funny behavior, good, good show, home, home alone, house, leave, Netflix, normal, pet, pet care, scroll, show, watch
Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, leave, me, relationship, sarcasm, treat
I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

0

2 months ago

baby, crying, envy, escape, event, gathering, humor, i, leave, parents, social, social gathering

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

28 shares on Slack this month:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Seen just now on Discord:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Spotted on Twitch:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Freshly posted on Discord:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Trending via Pinterest:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Shared recently on Reddit:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Activity Log ✨

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

All funny leave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨