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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Making waves on Slack:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Just shared via Discord:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Broadcasted on Discord:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Spotted on Slack:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

2 weeks ago

hair, humor, mental, mental state, observation, personality, state, tell
Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, health, humor, loyalty, mental, mental health, program, rewards, should, stress
Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, attack, calm, emergency, grocery, grocery store, health, mental, mental health, panic, people, situation, situations, store, surety, trauma
Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

2 weeks ago

chaos, confusion, gathering, humor, jumping, me, mental, mind, struggle, thought, thoughts
First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

2 weeks ago

butterfly, feelings, give, health, humor, love, mental, mental health, problems, relationship
I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

2 weeks ago

around, brain, brain cell, cell, head, humor, i, joke, left, mental, movement, moves, screensaver, Windows
Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, baby, disorder, frustration, hate, health, humor, irony, line, me, mental, mental disorder, problems, stay, stomach
The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

2 weeks ago

availability, depression, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, places, t, therapy
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

2 weeks ago

after, aspiration, day, fame, health, hospital, humor, irony, maybe, me, mental, mental health, recognition, school, self-deprecation, street
I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

2 weeks ago

brain, dishrag, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, someone, thoughts, wring

For even more funny mental quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

25 shares on WeChat this month:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

38 shares on Threads this month:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Wolves should really raise more people.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

12 shares on Discord this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Seen just now on Threads:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Spotted on Threads:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Trending via Snapchat:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Going viral on Slack:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Activity Log ✨

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨