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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from has shared:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from has copied:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from has shared:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from has viewed:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from has shared:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from has downloaded:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from has downloaded:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from has shared:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from has downloaded:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2250 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,412

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,412

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Just landed via Twitch:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Live now on Facebook:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Spotted on Threads:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Just shared via Telegram:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Home » Funny Milestone Quotes

Funny milestone quotes

Funny milestone quotes bring a burst of laughter 🎉 to life’s big moments! Whether you’re celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, or career wins, these witty sayings add a splash of humor 😂 and make memories even sweeter. Ready to crack a smile and share some joy? Let the good vibes roll with hilarious words that turn milestones into unforgettable fun! 🎂🎈✨

New funny milestone quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Commentary:
Sounds like we need to negotiate with Father Time for a more fun age! 🎉😅🔄
5 months ago
Share →: After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the magical age of 25, where you're basically just a stone's throw away from 30. It's like hitting the fast-forward button on life and realizing you're suddenly closer to retirement than you are to your college days. Time sure does fly when you're busy adulting, doesn't it?"
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Commentary:
"Ah, the warm welcome of your 40s: accepting you with open arms… and ten extra pounds! 🎉🍰🍕 Don't worry, those pounds are just a souvenir from your delicious adventures in your 30s! #NewDecadeNewBodyGoals 😅💪"
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Commentary:
Ah, the deceiving ways of aging! 👵🏼🤣 Remember, in your 40s, calling someone a "teenager" may just mean they recently graduated from university. Time truly plays tricks on us! ⏳😅