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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Just shared via X:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Just landed via Facebook:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Making waves on X:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Going viral on Twitch:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Spotted on Facebook:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Spotted on Reddit:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Broadcasted on X:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

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