Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Seen just now on X:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Spotted on TikTok:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Making waves on Threads:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Breaking via Threads:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

48 Funny morning routine quotes

More funny morning routine quotes 👇

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

3 weeks ago

am, ceiling, daily, daily struggle, debating, humor, i, live, living, minutes, morning, morning routine, need, procrastination, routine, staring, struggle, thinking, tired, today
The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

3 weeks ago

4, 4 a.m., a.m., am, disturbing, early, early riser, exercise, humor, morning, morning routine, most, people, purpose, riser, routine, thing, waking, waking up
My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

3 weeks ago

early, early morning, favorite, favorite thing, favourite, morning, morning routine, ridiculous, routine, sleep, solitude, thing, waking, waking up
My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

3 weeks ago

frustration, humor, job, job frustration, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, quitting, quitting job, routine, self, self-talk, talk, talking, work, work humor
My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

3 weeks ago

back, bed, humor, just, me, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, procrastination, routine, self, self-motivation, sleep, waking, waking up
The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

3 weeks ago

daily, daily struggle, finding, health, humor, live, longest, mental, mental health, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, struggle, will to live
Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

3 weeks ago

breakfast, clothes, clothing, cold, cold food, eating, food, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, ravioli, routine, still
She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

3 weeks ago

before, breakfast, cereal, humor, meant, milk, mistake, morning, morning routine, relationship, routine

For even more funny morning routine quotes, hit next 👇

All funny morning routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

78 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Freshly posted on X:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Going viral on YouTube:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Just shared via TikTok:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Going viral on Facebook:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Activity Log ✨

48 Funny morning routine quotes

More funny morning routine quotes 👇

All funny morning routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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