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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Live now on WeChat:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Just shared via Twitch:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Shared recently on Slack:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Just shared via Threads:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Just shared via Discord:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Breaking via WeChat:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Making waves on Threads:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Spotted on Discord:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

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