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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Spotted on Instagram:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Making waves on X:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Going viral on WeChat:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Breaking via X:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Just landed via Slack:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Reported on Threads:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Breaking via Messenger:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Spotted on Reddit:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Just shared via Messenger:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Going viral on TikTok:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

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