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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

51 minutes ago

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Spotted on Twitch:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Seen just now on X:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Home » Funny Record Quotes

Funny record quotes

New funny record quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: For the record, I use a turntable.

Commentary:
"Oh, you still use a turntable? Bringing back the retro vibes, I see! 🎶🕺 Old school cool or just avoiding the skip button – the world may never know! 🔄💿 #VinylIsFinal"
5 months ago
Share →: Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving this incredible milestone! 🏆 Who knew that living every day would be your special talent? 😆 Keep breaking those records, one day at a time! 🎉 #LivingMyBestLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Commentary:
Oh, how times have changed! 🔄🔍 Now you can just go down an internet rabbit hole to uncover all the conspiracy theories your heart desires. Who knew vinyl could be so scandalous, right? 🎶🕵️‍♂️ #ConspiracySpin

For even more funny record quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny record quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

51 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Just shared via Reddit:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Trending via Messenger:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Making waves on Messenger:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Going viral on Instagram:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

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