Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Live now on TikTok:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Trending via Slack:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Going bananas on Threads:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Just shared via Discord:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Spotted on Messenger:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Funny record quotes

Funny record quotes 🎶💿 are the perfect way to spin some laughter into your day! Whether you’re a vinyl lover or just appreciate a good pun, these witty sayings will have you chuckling louder than your favorite playlist. Get ready to drop the needle on some serious fun and groove through a collection of clever, record-inspired humor that hits all the right notes! 😂🎧

New funny record quotes 👇

All funny record quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on X this month:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

97 shares on WeChat this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

61 shares on Slack this month:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

94 shares on Slack this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

75 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve existed as a tree.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Spotted on Reddit:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Trending via TikTok:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Trending via Messenger:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Going viral on Threads:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Just shared via Snapchat:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

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