For the record, I use a turntable.

For the record, I use a turntable.

Commentary:
"Oh, you still use a turntable? Bringing back the retro vibes, I see! 🎶🕺 Old school cool or just avoiding the skip button – the world may never know! 🔄💿 #VinylIsFinal"

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving this incredible milestone! 🏆 Who knew that living every day would be your special talent? 😆 Keep breaking those records, one day at a time! 🎉 #LivingMyBestLife"

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Commentary:
Oh, how times have changed! 🔄🔍 Now you can just go down an internet rabbit hole to uncover all the conspiracy theories your heart desires. Who knew vinyl could be so scandalous, right? 🎶🕵️‍♂️ #ConspiracySpin