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New funny quotes: 56 this month

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

Funny retrograde quotes

Funny retrograde quotes 🚀✨ are the perfect way to laugh through the chaos when Mercury decides to mess with your plans! From tech fails to communication glitches, these witty lines bring cosmic comedy to your day 🌌😂. Ready to embrace the universe’s little pranks with a smile? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on those unpredictable retrograde vibes! 🌠😜

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Posted onJan 18, 2026

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Posted onJan 18, 2026

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