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Someone from has viewed:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from has downloaded:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from has downloaded:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from has downloaded:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from has shared:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from has shared:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from has shared:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from has viewed:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from has shared:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2266 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,428

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Trending via Snapchat:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Going viral on Facebook:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Trending via WeChat:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Spotted on Twitch:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Trending via Discord:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Home » Funny Retrograde Quotes

Funny retrograde quotes

Funny retrograde quotes 🚀✨ are the perfect way to laugh through the chaos when Mercury decides to mess with your plans! From tech fails to communication glitches, these witty lines bring cosmic comedy to your day 🌌😂. Ready to embrace the universe’s little pranks with a smile? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on those unpredictable retrograde vibes! 🌠😜

New funny retrograde quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Commentary:
Looks like Mercury missed the memo about being a planet and decided to try out for a horror movie instead! 🌌👻🔮
4 months ago
Share →: My bank account is also in retrograde.

Commentary:
"Looks like even your bank account is feeling the cosmic vibes! 🌌💸 Just remember, Mercury might be in retrograde, but your money doesn't have to be spinning in circles too! 😂💰"
6 months ago
Share →: Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Commentary:
Oh, poor Mercury, always catching the blame for retrograde! 🪐 Next time, let's check in with the cosmic bodies before casting our astrological frustrations. Maybe Mercury just needs a hug and some retrograde appreciation! 🌌 #CosmicConsiderations
6 months ago
Share →: Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Commentary:
Well, they do say never trust a cow especially when the sun can't swim! 🐄🌞 Mercury is finally back on track, so maybe now the cows can get their act together too. Don't let those sneaky cows fool you while Mercury is direct! 😉🔮
6 months ago
Share →: I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Commentary:
"Well, blame it on the stars, not the folks who gave you life! 🌟✨ Looks like Mercury retrograde gets more airtime than family drama these days! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #CosmicExcuses"