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15 Funny rivalry quotes

New funny rivalry quotes 👇

  • Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a boxing ring when you have a Monopoly board? It’s all fun and games until someone lands on Park Place without a hotel. Family fistfights, now with a chance card twist!”

  • Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

    Commentary:
    “Blocking him on social media is just the beginning…may his favorite team forever be stuck in last place 🏆🤣 Let karma handle the rest! ⚽️🏀🏈”

  • Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, yes, the perfect recipe for sports – just add a dash of hatred! 🌪️🏀 But remember, it’s all in good fun…until it’s not! 😂🔥 #FriendlyRivalry”

  • Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

    Commentary:
    “Game night with the family: where alliances are formed, rivalries are born, and the table flips when I lose 😅🎲 #FamilyFunGoneWrong”

  • I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

    Commentary:
    “Meeting your older sister is like walking into a live-action reality show called ‘Gray Hair Chronicles’! 🤣👵 Can’t wait for the inevitable ‘silver lining’ jokes she’s got up her sleeve! 💁‍♀️✨”

  • Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out, folks! The speed demon has spoken! Enemies at every pace 🚶‍♂️⚔️ At this rate, the only safe path is to moonwalk on the sidewalk 🌟🕺 #EnemyEverywhere #NeedForSpeed”

  • Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

    Commentary:
    Middle children be like: “Hey, remember me? I’m still here!” 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ Always caught in the siblings’ saga like a middle child sandwich… 🥪 At least we’ve mastered the art of patience and negotiation! 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #MiddleChildSyndrome #JustTryingToBeSeen

  • I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.
  • There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the age-old tradition of spreading malice instead of love! 💔😈 Who needs roses and chocolates when you can broadcast your carefully curated shots of side-eye and eye rolls? 📸😜 Just make sure to use the right filter to really capture that “frenemy drama” essence! #AntiValentinesDay #InstagramWarfare

  • Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like Big Bro’s got a black belt in shifting blame! 🥋👊 Sibling rivalry at its finest! 😂 #ClassicSiblingDrama”

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