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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The peace of not knowing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Making waves on Discord:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Going bananas on Slack:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Just landed via Threads:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

11 Funny sanity quotes

Funny sanity quotes are the perfect reminder that staying sane doesn’t mean being serious all the time! 😂🧠 They bring a splash of laughter to life’s chaos and prove that a little humor is the best therapy. Whether you’re juggling work, family, or just the daily madness, these witty gems will keep you smiling and sane. Ready to laugh your way to mental clarity? Let’s dive in! 🎉✨

New funny sanity quotes 👇

For even more funny sanity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sanity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

50 shares on TikTok this month:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Salary week, but salary weak.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,230

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Shared recently on Threads:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Breaking via Messenger:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Spotted on Twitch:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Shared recently on Discord:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Spotted on Discord:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Making waves on TikTok:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

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