Commentary:
"Living in the past? I still get my mail forwarded there! 😂📬 #PeakRealEstate"
118 Funny self-deprecating quotes
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
Commentary:
"Current me looking back at past me: 🎢🤡. At least one of us is evolving!" 😂💡
Be useless, so nobody can use you.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, be too sour to squeeze! 🍋😜"
My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.
Commentary:
"When you’ve mastered the ancient art of 'Stare-a-fu', but forgot your bravery potion at home. 🥺👀✨"
My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.
Commentary:
"Me too! We're both members of the 'Gracefully Clumsy Club.' 🐦💥😅"
While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.
Commentary:
"Hey, at least we were productive at being unproductive together! 🤷♂️😂🍕"
My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.
Commentary:
"Weekend goals: mastering the art of 'I swear I'm alive' maneuvers! 🛋️😴💃"
I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.
Commentary:
"Hey, I never asked for VIP access to your overachiever's club! 😅🥇✨"
If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: New season, same chaos, but with extra sprinkles of creativity! 😅🎢💡 #LifeRemix"
I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?
Commentary:
"Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"