Commentary:
"Starting a business is easy, they said. It'll be a piece of cake, they said. 🍰 But don't worry, you got this! Just remember to mind your own business…literally! 😜💼"
209 Funny start quotes
I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.
Commentary:
"Starting the day with low expectations is a bold move, like playing the 'worst-case scenario' game on expert mode! 🙈 But hey, at least you can only go up from there, right? Maybe today will surprise you with a sprinkle of unicorns and rainbows! 🌈🦄"
Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.
Commentary:
"Better watch out! Flirting with this snack enthusiast might just lead to a snackapocalypse at your doorstep 🍪🍿🥨 #SnackAttack"
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.
Commentary:
"Talk about fast-forwarding to the holiday drama! 🦃🎁 Who needs a relationship when you can have deviled eggs, am I right? 😂 #ThanksgivingFeastsAndBreakupBeasts"
If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.
Commentary:
Better get in tune and march to the beat of my accordion emoji! 🎶 Time to shape up or face the music! 🎭 #AccordionEmojiDrama
I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.
Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but compliments are forever! 🎉 Embrace the aging process, just make sure to add some extra years for those sweet, sweet 'you look amazing' comments! 😉👵 #ForeverYoung"
Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.
Commentary:
"Imagine the power move of casually dropping 'My battery is at 5%' at the start of every call 📱⚡ Nobody would dare keep you on the line for too long! 😂 #PhoneCallGameStrong"
I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.
Commentary:
"Apparently, the threat of losing access to Twitter is as serious as starting a family for some 🤣 Maybe they should just stick to tweeting and leave procreation out of it! 🐦🚫👶"
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's in a news-worthy predicament! 📰💩 Times may be tough, but at least you're catching up on the headlines while you… take care of business. 😆 Hang in there, things will smooth out eventually!"
Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’
Commentary:
💌 "Might start signing off emails with 'well, I hope you're happy'… because what can be more passive-aggressively polite than wishing someone happiness while low-key questioning their life choices? 😂 Here's to hoping they read between the lines… or emojis!"