Funny states quotes

• If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

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  3 weeks ago

  America, bacon, food, humor, offended, offense, patriotism, states, united, United States

• If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

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  3 weeks ago

  dating, dating show, device, entertainment, estimate, estimation, exaggeration, humor, medical, medical device sales, number, only, people, population, reality, reality TV, sales, satire, show, shows, states, TV, us, US population, work

• Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

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  1 month ago

  argue, argument, CEO, debate, head, head of state, heads, humor, kitchen, media, online, online debate, only, place, sleep, sleeping, social, social media, state, states, Twitter, while

• If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

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  1 month ago

  chewing, divorce, hear, humor, i, marriage, moved, sound, states, still, wife

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