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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Just shared via Facebook:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Home » Funny States Quotes

Funny states quotes

New funny states quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Commentary:
"Looks like every rose ceremony comes with its own stethoscope! 🌹😉 #MedicalDeviceSalesGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Commentary:
Oh, the sound of marital chewing – reaching across state lines and beyond! 🗣️🍽️ It's like a crunchy, munchy symphony that refuses to fade away. 🎵👂Talk about a love/hate relationship with snacks…and spouses! 💔😂

For even more funny states quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny states quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Trending via Instagram:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Spotted on YouTube:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Just landed via Threads:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Seen just now on X:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

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Funny states quotes

New funny states quotes 👇

For even more funny states quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny states quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

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