Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Live now on Reddit:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Trending via Facebook:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Making waves on Telegram:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Just landed via Discord:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Trending via WeChat:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

16 Funny update quotes

More funny update quotes 👇

New year update: losing everything but weight.

3 weeks ago

change, everything, fitness, humor, losing, new, new year, resolution, update, weight, year
Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

3 weeks ago

crash, fail, feel, half, hope, humor, i, incompetence, job, live, next, once, perspective, planet, remember, software, software update, someone, tech, tech fail, time, update, workplace
Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

3 weeks ago

catch, catch up, friend, friendship, life, life update, lorebombing, new, new friend, socializing, thirty, update
Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

3 weeks ago

change, changes, everything, humor, me, optimism, software, technology, update, Windows
No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

3 weeks ago

culture, frustration, humor, internet, internet culture, lived, matter, media, Reddit, screenshot, screenshots, situation, social, social media, someone, storytelling, update, upvote
Are you a software update, because not now!

3 weeks ago

dating, humor, not now, procrastination, software, software update, technology, update

For even more funny update quotes, hit next 👇

All funny update quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

52 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Breaking via WeChat:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Shared recently on Slack:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Breaking via Messenger:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Going viral on Instagram:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

16 Funny update quotes

More funny update quotes 👇

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Are you a software update, because not now!

All funny update quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨