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"Talk about keeping your secrets on lock! 🗝️🚪 Nothing says 'exclusive entrance' quite like a key hidden under a doormat. Maybe it's the secret passageway to the land of dad jokes! 😉 #UnlockThePunchlines"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

1 month ago
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First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

1 month ago
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Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

1 month ago
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My brain is on airplane mode today.

1 month ago
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Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

1 month ago
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Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Going viral on Instagram:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Seen just now on Slack:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Spotted on Facebook:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Going viral on WeChat:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

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Activity Log ✨

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

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Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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