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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Just landed via Discord:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Going viral on Reddit:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Trending via WeChat:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Breaking via TikTok:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

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Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.
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Commentary:
Looks like he's taking his chalanting skills on a world tour without you! 🌍🚶‍♂️🎟️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

58 shares on Threads this month:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a break from me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Going viral on Discord:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Trending via Snapchat:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just landed via YouTube:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Live now on Pinterest:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Live now on YouTube:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Making waves on Threads:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

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