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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Trending via Twitch:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Making waves on Discord:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Trending via Twitch:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Seen just now on Slack:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When God's life plan feels more like a rough draft than a final copy 😂✏️

communication, divine, divine plan, feedback, God, humor, little, ok, open, plan, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

1

2 months ago

better, choices, decisions, humor, i, irony, life, life choices, memoir, mistakes, regret, self-awareness
Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

0

2 months ago

back, break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, life, media, needs, online, online life, perspective, reality, social, social media, social media break, social media detox, virtual, virtual world, world, year
I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

0

2 months ago

confusion, Earth, humans, humor, i, know, put, Salesforce, technology, think, unnatural
From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

0

2 months ago

every, full, hate, humor, i, Kendrick, much, potential, realization, realize, self-improvement, think, time, too
When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

0

2 months ago

ability, attitude, bad, dark, dark humor, die, hope, humor, i, irony, pessimism, sarcasm, self-deprecation, situation, take, worse
So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

0

2 months ago

activity, game, hide, hide and seek, me, night, phone, seek, winning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

18 shares on X this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

52 shares on Discord this month:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

14 shares on X this month:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Just shared via Pinterest:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Spotted on Discord:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Breaking via Slack:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Shared recently on X:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨