Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Making waves on YouTube:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Trending via WeChat:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Just landed via Instagram:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Just landed via Slack:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Just landed via Twitch:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Going viral on Messenger:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Spotted on Slack:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

0
Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a streaming service that isn't playing 'hide-and-seek' with our wallets and taste! 🍿🤣📉

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

27 shares on Discord this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Going viral on X:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Trending via TikTok:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Trending via Threads:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Making waves on Pinterest:

This Monday could have been an email.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Just shared via Discord:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴