Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Seen just now on Discord:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Breaking via Reddit:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Live now on Slack:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just waiting for the elevator to reach the "Next Time, Press the Close Door Button Faster" floor 😂🚪🕴️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

0

2 months ago

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The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

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2 months ago

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I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

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2 months ago

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Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

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2 months ago

blocking, cancellation, cancelled, enough, entertainment, favorite, humor, i, media, need, people, revenge, show, social, social media, TV, TV Show
People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

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2 months ago

adult, age, humor, irony, me, mistake, people, perception
Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

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4 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

75 shares on X this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Spotted on Telegram:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Just shared via Slack:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Shared recently on Facebook:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Live now on Messenger:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Spotted on Reddit:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Shared recently on Threads:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨