Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Going viral on Discord:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Going viral on X:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Making waves on Threads:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Just landed via Twitch:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Shared recently on Instagram:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

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I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"**Me:** Just says 'hello' 👋
**My comments section:** An accidental Shakespearean drama unfolds 🎭🤔😆"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Discord this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

61 shares on YouTube this month:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

73 shares on X this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Going viral on Reddit:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Trending via Discord:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Making waves on Discord:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Just shared via TikTok:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

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