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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you found your own personal coat rack with benefits! 🧥😂🙌

affection, flirtation, hands, humor, i, keep, love, man, me, please, touch, touchy-feely, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

0

2 months ago

ask, bank, bonus, call, Christmas, humor, joke, money, small
Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

0

2 months ago

boys, date, eyes, guy, humor, interest, rejection, relationship, sorry
Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

0

2 months ago

branding, business, dinosaur, giraffe, humor, man, mascot, r, right, stupid, toy, toys, Toys R Us, Toysaurus, us
If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

0

2 months ago

balance, bank, bank balance, calorie, calorie intake, daily, diet, fitness, food, high, humor, intake, irony, money
Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

0

2 months ago

actually, affection, else, humor, i, love, me, meant, realization, relationship, self, self-love, someone, want
I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

0

2 months ago

everyone, funny observation, headless, hold, humor, i, joke, low, observation, playful, rain, umbrella, weather, weather joke

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

75 shares on X this month:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

38 shares on Threads this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Spotted on Discord:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Just landed via Discord:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Spotted on Slack:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Making waves on Threads:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨