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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Trending via Telegram:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Spotted on Discord:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Going viral on X:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Reminiscing about the good old days when I was a twinkle in my grandma's eye 😆✨ #ThrowbackThursday

1955, back, days, exist, existence, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, old, past, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, child, furniture, guess, humor, i, next, pancakes, parenting, sticking, sticky, syrup, week
Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, fitness talk, hear, humor, motivation, talk, treadmill, wants, workout
Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, dominance, ending, humor, lazy, relaxation, show, year
I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

0

2 months ago

AI, bad, hope, i, mine, nice, pets, something
Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

0

2 months ago

aging, getting, gracefully, humor, irony, life, perspective, screaming, steamrolled
Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

0

3 weeks ago

financial, financial struggle, housing, humor, i, irony, just, money, paid, place, rent, starve, starving, struggle, survival, warm, warmth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

79 shares on Slack this month:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

32 shares on Threads this month:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Just landed via TikTok:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Making waves on Telegram:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Going bananas on Threads:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Making waves on X:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨