Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, who needs a significant other when you can have a significant savings account, am I right? 💰🤷‍♂️ Retirement plan: 1, Relationships: 0. #PrioritiesInCheck"

age, closer, commitment, dating, humor, i, life, life stage, relationship, retirement, single, stage, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

0

2 months ago

activity, babe, book, books, concern, fun, fun activity, okay, reading, relationship, unread, unread book
Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

0

6 months ago

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together
Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

0

2 months ago

being, curse, drive, high, hopeless, hopeless romantic, humor, introvert, personality, personality traits, romantic, sex, sex drive, traits
Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

0

2 months ago

barking, behavior, being, bigger, bigger person, forget, frustration, funny behavior, going, humor, just, people, person, reaction, start
You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

0

2 months ago

email, fun, humor, office, office fun, succulent, surprise, times, usage, word, word usage, work, work email
The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

0

2 months ago

clothes, dirty, dirty clothes, gaming, give, humor, laundromat, laundry, laundry humor, parody, playful, rank, should, XP

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Just landed via Discord:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Seen just now on Discord:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Going viral on Telegram:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Making waves on TikTok:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Going viral on Discord:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨