I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.