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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Spotted on YouTube:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Spotted on Slack:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Trending via Instagram:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Just landed via Messenger:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Live now on Instagram:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Going viral on X:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Trending via Slack:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

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I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

82 shares on Messenger this month:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

35 shares on Reddit this month:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,510

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Trending via WeChat:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Just landed via WeChat:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Spotted on Discord:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Spotted on Facebook:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Just shared via YouTube:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Making waves on YouTube:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

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