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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Breaking via X:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Breaking via Messenger:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

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I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on X this month:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura is the real business card.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Live now on WhatsApp:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Live now on Reddit:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

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