Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Just shared via WeChat:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Trending via YouTube:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Spotted on Reddit:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Seen just now on Slack:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Trending via Twitch:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂

aging, eye, eyes, eyesight, getting, humor, i, joke, just, perception, self-deprecating, smaller, thought, worse, wrinkle, wrinkles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

0

2 months ago

am, disturb, disturbed, do not disturb, enough, humor, humor quote, i, phone, self-deprecating, technology
When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

0

2 months ago

appearance, body, designating, gain, humor, i, preference, should, weight, where
Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, balance, celebration, Christmas, Christmas tree, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday spirit, job, quitting, quitting job, rock, rocking, spirit, tree, work life, work-life balance
I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

0

2 months ago

burning, calorie, calorie burning, eye, eye rolling, eyes, fitness, fitness joke, humor, i, joke, rolling, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, wish
Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, communication, everyone, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, sarcasm, say, should, wit
Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, happy, humor, report, slang, still, time, used, watch, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

13 shares on Discord this month:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Spotted on YouTube:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Freshly posted on Slack:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Going viral on YouTube:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Going viral on Instagram:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Trending via Slack:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨